You can plan and plan, and life often doesn't fall into place the way you want it to. This last weekend, is an example. Faith's birthday was Saturday. This was the first year we decided to "celebrate" it. Rori wanted to make her cupcakes--Oreo cupcakes! She was very excited and asked, "who are we going to celebrate with?" Well, it just so happened that we had planned on going to my parent's house on Saturday and my sister and her family were coming too. So we made cupcakes, I made cookies--just to make sure there would be enough dessert. It was working out well that we were all going to be there on Saturday because my mom was having her gallbladder out on Monday. I think my mom was looking forward to the distraction.

The kids decorated the cupcakes--I even swirled the frosting on to make them prettier. Then my mom called and Jenna and her family wouldn't be coming. Jenna had a stressful week and was exhausted. I was bummed because we were looking forward to seeing the kids too.

After we made the cupcakes, the kids were all upstairs watching television in my bedroom. I came downstairs to start working on Faith's blog post. I heard coughing. And then a shout. More coughing while I was running up the stairs. Rori had vomited all over our bed, my pillows, and carpet. I called Bill's mom to come over to help me take care of the other two kids while I stripped the sheets and got Rori cleaned up. A few hours later, Liam started throwing up. Every half hour until the wee hours of the morning, the kids were vomiting. We were officially in the vomitorium. I called my mom and broke the news to her that we wouldn't be coming the next day either. I would be going to the store for new pillows!

We were all really disappointed, and the kids still felt a little off on Saturday, so while we sang "Happy Birthday" to Faith, we didn't partake in cupcakes (really, who wants the cupcakes made by children who proceded to toss their cookies within an hour of frosting them). Rori was very disappointed and still really wants to celebrate and make new cupcakes. So, we will do that in two weeks. Alas, it was not what we had planned, but life so rarely is. Just ask Brendan ;-)

I would appreciate prayers for my mom's recovery--she has a tougher recovery than normal because of her diabetes as well as the fact that her gallbladder was pretty inflamed. She's feeling pretty miserable and would appreciate prayers for a speedy healing!

Seven Years Ago

Seven years ago, our Faith was born sleeping, into her Father's arms. She was carried on wings of angels to a place where she knows no pain or sorrow, only joy. A place that my heart longs to be. Seven years ago. Wow. When I wrote Faith-7 on the 2011 calendar, Bill said, "Wow, Faith would have been 7." It was hard for me to believe too. In some ways it feels like yesterday that we said goodbye, and in others, it feels like a lifetime ago. That's the part that scares me. I don't want to let her go, I don't want to forget her. But I realize that I haven't. I really believe that God has gifted me with reminders of her. I don't think one day has gone by that her name hasn't popped into my head. Whether it be for a fleeting second, or because one of my dear friends has told me they were thinking of her, or because Rori has reminded me about her. Somehow, each day, God has given her to me for a brief moment. Sometimes it has the ability to stop me in my tracks--like when I met Rori's teacher and she told me that Rori told her about her family, including her sister in Heaven. Or it brings me to tears in my office at work, when my friend texts me that her girls were talking about someday meeting Faith. Or a friend, who walked through the valley with me, lets me know that she hasn't forgotten Faith's birthday. Or when I am at home and look above the television and see the cross-stitch a co-worker made for me with her name and verse. God has been good. He has given me reminders of her, and hope for what awaits me in eternity.

Seven years ago I didn't know how I would ever get out of bed again. Today there are three little people that make sure I get out of bed every morning! And there is one little girl in Heaven that makes sure that I teach those three little people about Him so that we can one day be the family of six. I long for that day. The day that I will show her off the way a new mom shows off her new baby. I will be honored to introduce her to her sister who longs to know her and her brothers who would adore her.

But for now, we will make cupcakes, sing Happy Birthday, and thank Jesus for His sacrifice that brings hope and peace to our family.