I had posted, when I wrote about losing our daughter, Faith, that I had regretted not getting her a gravestone. She was our baby and deserved recognition as such. I had been thinking about it again, recently, and it has really been on my heart to get one. I mentioned to my friend, how I had hoped that Bill would think of it on his own so that I wouldn't have to bring it up to him. We had recently refinanced our mortgage, and therefore got to "skip" a mortgage payment. Basically that left us with a little extra money that could cover a gravestone. My friend wisely told me that men are different than women and I needed to just bring it up to him. I did and he agreed we should get one. He even said he'd call about it that week. A few weeks went by and he didn't mention it to me again. I got really frustrated inside because I took this to mean he didn't care about her the way I did. I felt like he just didn't get it. So, I took matters into my own hands and got the information again on how to go about getting a stone. I told him how I felt and he apologized and we agreed that next weekend we would go pick one out.

Last night my dear friend Anne, aka my Jilli.an Michaels, texted me and told me her sister lost her twin babies at 20 weeks pregnant. I was heartbroken for them. It brought back many of my memories. I couldn't stop thinking about them all night. Bill and I were laying in bed going to sleep and I felt the need to text Anne that her sister HAD to get pictures of her babies. That is the biggest regret of my life, not getting pictures of our Faith. After I texted her, Bill didn't ask what I sent, but he reached over and squeezed my hand and said, "I love you." And I knew then that he got it.

My Birthday

My birthday was yesterday, Cinco de Mayo! It's always a fiesta on my birthday :) Every year Bill renews my subscription to Us Week.ly (don't tell our friend Nat, he's a youth pastor and thinks it's a trashy magazine and we like to keep up our wholesome image ;-) ). He also gets me another gift because that one doesn't really count because it's expected. Lucky for me! This year he got me a new point and shoot camera!! I love it because my other one takes horrible grainy pictures--you can tell when I've used it if you go through past posts on my blog. I love my Nikon SLR but it's much too big to bring on vacation and I wanted one I could just throw in my pocket so I could take pictures at the park etc. So, of course I had to test it out and so this post is going to be photo happy :)
I decided to try a self portrait, since if I don't take pictures of myself, if I die, my kids won't know what I looked like...

Oops, this is better (but nice teeth above, huh?)

I have ape arms so am pretty good at taking pictures of myself and the kids together.

Bill sent me flowers at work. I love when he does that. I feel special. Aren't they lovely?

This was my birthday card from him. I made it extra-large because if anyone can tell me what it says, I'll give them $5...

Todd n ML showed up. They didn't know it was my birthday. They felt embarassed. So as punishment I am posting this picture.

We talked them into staying for cupcakes

Bill made them and the kids decorated them. Well, Bill decorated the ones with the red writing. I am doing the same $5 offer for that one...

This is what the cupcakes looked like unfrosted. Bill's not sure what happened...

But Todd approved

So did Marylou. I told her this picture was a good angle and she should practice it for her upcoming wedding pictures.

Rori liked the hats and wants to keep them for her birthday!

Thank you, my dear hubby, for a lovely day. Next time you get me a camera, though, warn me to put a little makeup on since I am pretty sure this is the most pictures of me that have been on my blog the whole year!

Attitude Check

I have no idea what my spiritual gift is. I think I was absent the day they were handed out. Evangelism? nope. Administration? Have you seen my desk? nope. I have taken the inventories, and they are not very helpful. I have tried to think of ways to serve in our church using my skills. It's hard because honestly, and I'm not saying this so everyone will say nice things about me, I don't feel like I have useful gifts. One day, before I was pregnant I saw a sign up sheet for Meals on Wheels. This seemed right up my alley. I love to cook! I look forward to the week that we have main dish for our small group. I love cooking different types of food than what I normally serve my picky family. I get to experiment with new things. Anyway, so I signed up.

I never got a phone call. That is, until a week ago. The person that heads it up called me and asked when I could bring a meal to a family from our church. They have 11 children. Lucky for me, 4 of them are no longer at home. I hemmed and hawed, thinking, "don't you know that I have 3 small children and I work two days a week." She wasn't going to let me off the hook. So I chose last Friday. I felt quite indignant that someone would ask me to do that when I had so much on my plate--especially since it was for 9 people! Enter, attitude check. I felt God nudging me, and I felt ashamed. Every Sunday people serve my family. They teach Rori and Liam about Jesus, happily change Brendan's poopy diapers, and Bill and I sit in the sanctuary enjoying the service. Here I was grumbling about making a meal, something I enjoy, something that I signed up to do and hadn't been asked once in the previous year to fulfill. So, I changed my attitude and made a delicious meal, hopefully blessing the family by having one less thing to think about.

I ended up being blessed in return for making the meal. Sunday, when we went to church, the dad came up to us and asked if I made it from scratch and said they loved it. Then one of the little girls said to me, "my mom said that whoever made that meal knows how to cook!" I was humbled, touched, and ashamed of my initial attitude. I am ready for the next Meals on Wheels phone call. Unless it's a meal for the Duggars. I don't think I have a pot big enough to cook for them!