Six Years Ago

Six years ago, yesterday, we walked through hospital doors, and our lives were forever changed. We found out that I was going to be delivering our baby girl. And six years ago today, we met her. We are now 2,190 days closer to the day that we will be reunited with our precious baby girl. Having Rori, Liam and Brendan, doesn't replace the loss we have felt. While the gratefulness for having them, cannot be expressed in words, we will always feel incomplete, until we get to Heaven. There we will be a family of six, not five.
My heart aches for the "what could have been's." My heart broke the other day when, Rori told me that she wished her cousin Juliana, was older so that she could play princesses. She will never know what it's like to have her older sister, to play princesses with her, someone to confide in, someone to get advice from, a bond that can only be from a sister... That's the part that hurts the most. The what could have been. My two girls and my two boys. The balm that soothes the ache is knowing where she is, who she's with, knowing that our family will one day be restored.
Six years later, 2190 days later, my heart still aches and grieves. But, because a Man gave His life, I know that my grief will know an end. He will turn my mourning into dancing. I will not carry my sorrow Home with me. And when I ask my Lord, "where is she?" I will know great joy. I am honored that Faith is already sitting with the Giver of Life--One who would sacrifice Himself so that we could be reunited through Him. She waits for us in a place where our hearts already are.
Baby girl, we still miss you, I think of you daily. Your sister and brothers will know of you. Rori was looking at the blog pictures the other day and asked whose footprints were on there. I told her that she has a big sister waiting for us in Heaven. She talked about you for two days straight. "I can't wait to get to Heaven to see Faith." "Faith and I are going to play barbies in Heaven." And she made great plans for all the things she wants to do with you, when we meet you again. You are never forgotten, you are always treasured, and always loved. I am honored that God chose us to be your family, chose me to carry you.