Inadequate

I have been incredibly blessed throughout my life. Most things have come fairly easily to me. I did well in high school and college. I got, what felt to me to be, an exciting job upon graduating, and my Prince asked me to marry him. That's not to say that my life has been daisies and roses. Bill and I have had our share of trials. We've lost a daughter, a job, a dog, and a beloved set of grandparents. Even amongst those trials, being married to him hasn't felt like hard work, but I'm not entirely sure he would say that about being married to me--please don't ask him--I don't want to know. While I've been blessed, trust me, I am no superwoman--I'm disorganized, not a great housekeeper, and lacking in street smarts, for starters. Those flaws aside, I have felt equipped for most things that life has thrown at me. A sinful side effect of these blessings and gifts is arrogance--that is, until God gets me with a zinger that brings me humbly, on my knees, to His throne, begging for wisdom. This happened very recently.

The other night, when Rori was going to bed, she said her prayers and then she said to me, "God is doing the best He can to get Grandpa Casey a job." In that instant I felt completely inadequate. I knew the adult response to that, but I had no idea how to explain to her, that God is choosing to wait right now. I didn't want her to think that God couldn't do it if He wanted to, but I didn't want her to think God was mean and holding back a job when He could give him one. I explained it to her the best I could but that was the moment when I knew how huge this job, teaching our children about God, is. I realized that if I want my children to truly know who Jesus is, I was not going to be able to coast through parenting. In one moment I realized what an awesome responsibility God has placed on me. I understand that ultimately, their salvation is not up to me. However, God has called me to take each teachable moment, that He gives me, to teach them who He is. I need to be ready to recognize those moments, and I need to have the tools to teach them. What that means is that I need to get to WORK. I need to research resources to help me to answer their questions in a way that will make sense to them. I need to model godly behavior, and I need to PRAY. Pray for teachable moments and pray for wisdom to teach them.

I am going to trust that if I put in the work, and don't coast through parenting on auto-pilot, my children will choose to follow the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and he will not turn from it."