Baby Fat

I am feeling discouraged and frustrated. When I had Rori and Liam the baby weight practically fell off on its own from nursing/pumping. I could eat a double cheeseburger and large fries and still lose 3 pounds. I expected the same thing to happen after having Brendan. Unfortunately, that has not been the case, which is what is leaving me discouraged and frustrated. I have no clothes that fit, except for sweats, my hair is flat and shapeless because it hasn't been cut in ages, and I haven't had contacts for about six months now. I'm clueless as to why Bill would even want to come home to me. My mom says the weight is more difficult this time because it's my fourth baby, but I'm pretty sure that Heidi K*lum isn't having this problem...

So, two days ago I decided to go to the gym. It was the first time in about six months that I worked out. I pulled on a pair of men's shorts, over my hairy legs, squeezed my giant tatas into a sports bra and threw on a giant t-shirt. I wanted to wear a sign that said, "I look like this because I just had a baby." I have to say, that I was pretty proud of myself though, because I was able to do 30 minutes on the elliptical machine without killing myself. I wasn't sure what kind of shape I was in, so that was encouraging. When I went yesterday, I went with more confidence, (and shaved legs) and even did some weight lifting. I am hoping that I will notice some improvement in my weight loss and hopefully fit into some pants that do not have an elastic waist soon! Wish me luck!