No Words

I am very behind in my Advent blogs, and somehow, today, I feel very frivolous in writing about our escapades, crafts, and activities. My heart is heavy with sadness for the parents and families of those killed in Newtown on Friday. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing but holding my babes close to me. One of those precious faces could've been Rori, or Liam, or Noah, or Juli. The teachers that sacrificed themselves for their students could've been Jenna. I am very aware that it could've been any one of them. For a minute I let my mind go there. And my heart breaks. My soul mourns and cries out to Jesus. Tears have streamed down my face for parents and children I have never met. I have cried for Jesus to have mercy. Darkness hangs in the air as I watch my children play. My innocence has been stolen, but I am not ready for theirs to be taken too.

My children have no idea what happened in that school. I don't think they are old enough to understand it. I am not old enough to understand it. Just last week, Liam told me how they practiced a lock down in case a bad guy, a wolf, or a fox came into their school. I shuddered when he told me. We had fire drills and tornado drills when I was in school. We didn't have to practice hiding in cubbies. There is a darkness in this world that man has created. Only One Man can save it.  And He is the only one who can give these parents peace. We have hope that evil will not win, it will not get the last say. Even in the face of this unspeakable horror and tragedy, there is hope. So I pray, Jesus, come quickly, have mercy, and envelop these parents who can't be comforted in Your Peace and Love.

When we lost Faith, I didn't even know how to express my grief. And I found comfort in this verse, knowing that the Spirit could express my grief when human words were not enough. And I pray it for those families tonight. Romans 8:26 "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."