I have learned two valuable lessons this week that I wanted to pass along to you.
Sometimes when Rori leaves her toys out and I get frustrated, I threaten that I am going to throw them out if she doesn't put them away. That usually gets her moving. No, this is not the lesson I'm passing along. Basically, I think she has learned that when something annoyes me, throw it out. A few weeks ago, I bought her a new nightgown. You've probably seen it in some of the recent pictures, as she pretty much lived in it for days (don't judge me). It was a pretty aqua flannel with Ariel on it. Last week, I noticed that I hadn't seen it for a day or so. I figured it would turn up when we did laundry. It didn't. I kept looking for it. Yesterday I asked her for the millionth time if she remembered where she put it. Finally she looked at me and said she put it in the garbage. I asked her why and she said because she couldn't get it on. Apparently she got annoyed with it and threw it out. I really think that I was sadder about it than she was (I don't think she really understood it was now gone forever).

So, lesson 1, when teaching your kids about garbage, tell them not to throw out perfectly good clothes that their mama just bought them.

Yesterday, I was proudly telling my friend on the phone that my kids were playing in the bathroom but I didn't need to supervise them because we told them you should only put toilet paper in the toilet. Not five minutes after telling her this, I heard the toilet flush and start to overflow. I ran in there and turned off the water as the bathroom was filling with water. I yelled calmly asked, "What did you do?" Rori said that they wet toilet paper and threw it in. I asked how much and she replied, "lots and lots." Great.

Lesson 2, when teaching your children that only toilet paper goes in the toilet, specify how much is reasonable. Then don't brag to your friends about what you've taught them.

We're not the worst!

I had to work today and Bill had the day off so that he could watch the kids. They came up to my work to meet me for lunch and we decided to have Burger King (that's right, we know how to treat ourselves). I have known since early in our relationship that one of Bill's biggest pet peeves is when kids don't behave in restaurants. We don't take our kids our to eat very often, and when we do, it is usually fast food. Rori would do fine in a place like Chili's, but Liam is just too little to sit still that long. Today the kids were extra excited because I think they missed their mommy :) After they were done eating, Liam wanted to get out of his high chair. I picked him up and put him in the booth next to Rori and me. Then they both wanted to get out so I let them. I told them to just stay by the table. They were being pretty good, but I could tell Bill was annoyed that they weren't sitting down. This may be where Bill and I differ in our parenting. Liam is only 1.5 years old. Frankly, I'd rather let him stand by our table and march and laugh than sit in his high chair wailing. I wouldn't do this in a nicer restaurant, but it was Burger King and there were like 4 other people in the place. Rori is able to sit the whole time, but she's 3.5 years old. I think there's a big difference. I'm probably wrong, and I know I'm a big softie, but really, they weren't being loud and they were staying right by us, just standing up. Anyway, I could tell Bill was getting annoyed, so we left. As we were leaving I saw a little boy--at least 3 years old that had pulled a chair up to the ketchup dispenser and was standing on it. He was pumping out ketchup into one of those disposable cup things and licking it out and refilling it--with his dad standing right there, gross. I felt a little vindicated as we were certainly not the worst parents at Burger King today. And, I think I am going to have to ask for ketchup packets from now on :)

Out of the mouths of babes

Last night I was reading The Children's Storybook Bible to Rori before bedtime. We were talking about Adam and Eve and how sin entered the world. I explained to Rori that we will all die someday, but Jesus died for us so that we can go live in Heaven with Him. I am having a horrible time explaining this to a three year old, so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Anyway, of course she started to cry at the idea of living in Heaven. She told me she didn't want to die and when Jesus took her to Heaven, when would we get to go home? The best I could think of to say was that Jesus would bring our house to Heaven with us--because I knew that she wouldn't able to understand that Heaven is so much better than our house. Then my precious little girl asked, "Will He bring our TV too?" At least she knows the necessities in life, right?

It's Christmas!

I feel like I have been waiting for Christmas for so long and it's finally here. Yesterday, Christmas Eve, we got a bunch of snow...again. So, Bill's brother, Christopher, showed up with his parents snowblower so that we wouldn't have to spend time shoveling. Bill was super grateful--I wondered where that help was last Friday... (just kidding--I did get a nice back rub after my shoveling). Then we went to Bill's family for Christmas Eve. We had a nice dinner and opened presents. The kids got way too much stuff! I got a dutch oven that I've been wanting and am super excited to use.

I have been so excited for Christmas Day because I had been hinting that I would like a new computer/laptop because everytime I'm on our PC, I have to reboot 5-6 times because it crashes on me. And yay!!! I got one!!! I love it. It's so fast and sleek and wonderful. Thank you my handsome prince!

I also had been excited because I had bought Bill a Wii before Thanksgiving that I have been trying to keep a secret. I've been dying to give it to him, because while he is really good at giving presents, I am usually more practical. This is the first time I have bought a truly frivolous present. He was so excited! I'm so glad, because he is always so generous with me and I wanted to do the same.

We had a very nice Christmas with my family today. My dad bought us a fabulous prime rib that Ryan, my sister's husband, cooked to perfection. My parents got me a piano keyboard since our piano has been determined to be untuneable. So I'm excited to break it out and dust off my piano books. My sister got an electric guitar and treated us to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on her electric guitar. It was rocking :) We're so cool...

Anyway, I hope you all had a great Christmas, and remembered the real Gift we received on Christmas!

Christmas is almost here!

Please excuse my humble attempt at a deep post. But I want to reflect a little bit on what Jesus did for us. For some reason, this year it really hit me--the part about Him coming to earth as a baby and not just appearing as an adult. I don't know if it's because my world revolves around babies, or I'm just slow. Anyway, how humbling must it have been for our Lord to choose to come as a baby. Babies are dependent upon others for everything. The Lord and King of the universe chose to become dependent upon His mother, Mary. He knew what it was like to wear diapers, be hungry, not be able to communicate what you want, to need His face and hands wiped after eating or playing. How wonderful and amazing is that? I know that if I was all powerful, I would not be willing to humble myself to rely on my creations to fulfill my earthly needs. My Lord continually shows Himself to be so much more than I imagine.

I also want to put out a challenge to anyone who might be interested. As you know, I follow Angie Smith's blog, and she challenged her readers to memorize Psalm 139. I haven't memorized that much scripture since my days in AWANA, and never a whole chapter. I thought it would be really cool to be able to recite that whole chapter, since that is one that I think is very familiar to believers everywhere. Of course it is one that has been of great comfort to me when Faith went to be with Jesus. How wonderful would it be to have it truly hidden away in my heart. I have linked to Angie's schedule, which obviously several of the dates have passed, but basically you memorize two verses per day and then every third day spend in review or catching up. I have made it through verse 6 and can't wait until I have it all memorized. If you decide to join me, please let me know so we can encourage one another!

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! Please (and this is also for myself) don't get swept up in the presents and everything, remember what this Season is really about. A Savior who chose to humble Himself to become one of us so that we could live forever with Him.

Rori Comaneci

I'd give her a perfect "10"

What's wrong with this picture?

Today we got ridiculous quantities of snow. Bill and Rori decided to go out and play in it since it was the nice heavy packing kind. I got to stay inside with this:



He was so upset that even his hair was angry. To be fair to me, I did ask him if he wanted to go outside and he shook his head no. So really, I don't know what his problem was but I think Bill got the good end of that deal.

After about an hour, I called Rori and Bill in because it was pretty cold out and I didn't want her to get sick. The plan had been that Bill would then stay out and shovel. However, when he brough her in, he complained about his knees and ankles killing him. To be fair to him, he does have arthritis, so it was probably a valid claim.

So in my good wifelyness, I went out and shoveled. For an hour! Like I said, it was the nice heavy packing kind. We have a very long driveway.I pointed out to Bill that three different people had stopped by and asked if we wanted to pay them to shovel the driveway and he said no. I strongly sweetly reminded him that we could have done that instead of having me shovel. He, unwisely, said, "I thought you would want the exercise." I imagine he regretted the words as they were coming out, and I'm pretty sure that I am going to get a nice foot and back rub tonight, without any kind of reciprocation :)

How do you know?

How do you know when you're done having children? This isn't a rhetorical question--feel free to answer if you have any advice. Bill and I have no idea if we are going to "try" to have more babies. I say "try" because of course it is ultimately up to God. It may or may not be in His plan. However, I'm not counting on an "accidental" pregnancy. That would be ridiculously unlikely for us. My babies are just growing up so fast, that I miss having a baby in the house. I'm starting to have my rose colored glasses on again, remembering the newborn stage. I, however, have not forgotten how miserable I am the entire pregnancy; and how I'm pretty sure that my skin really couldn't take another good stretching. Frankly, delivery doesn't deter me, but the 9 months prior are a nightmare.

I feel like there are a million things to take into consideration, but I wonder if they are stupid. Like, I think we don't have room for more kids, I don't want to take away from the opportunities that Rori and Liam can have, Bill and I have career decisions we'd need to make, if we do have more babies, should we space them out from these two or have them all in a lump, do I have the energy, etc. While there are lots of questions like that, which kind of lead me to wonder if we should be done, I just feel like I want more, leading me back to my questions of "how do you know?"

At least, in a few months, I'll have a new baby niece to squelch my baby cravings.

'Tis the season

I'm sorry that my posts are probably going to be slowing down a bit for the holiday season. I am really trying to focus on my family right now. We have a lot going on, and I really want to make sure to teach my children, especially Rori--who's old enough--what the reason for the season is. I want to make memories and traditions for her now, I don't want to wait. I'm not jipping Liam--he's just not old enough yet ;)

Anyway, I'm starting to get overwhelmed with all that has been going on, and frankly the past week has been stressful with present buying, cookie making, and planning for Christmas. I think the kids can feel it too. Friday was especially bad. Liam was ridiculously cranky and Rori was whiny. I knew it was a bad sign when I asked her if she was going to be whiny all day and she said, "no, just for the morning time." At least she was honest. Liam cried off and on all day and by the time Bill got home we determined he had an ear infection. We called the doctor for a prescription and then had to rush to get ready for my company Christmas party. I felt bad leaving Liam but he went to bed at 5 and didn't get up til 6 the next day--so he didn't even miss us.

Saturday Rori and I made cutout cookies. I was worried that I'd be too crabby from the day before, but we had a great time. She went through about half of my sprinkles putting them on the cookies, but they look great. I thanked her for being such my good helper and she said, "thank you for being my momma." I melted on the spot.

She's a baker in training!

Liam wanted to get in on the action! It's scary, but everytime he sees you at the counter he has figured out to drag his chair over and stand on it and "help" you. I'd be more comfortable if he wasn't accident prone!

Aren't they gorgeous :) They're quite tasty too!

I really want to focus on doing things like this with my kids, especially during this season. I want them to find it magical. I love seeing the Christmas lights through their eyes, when they get so excited as we're driving around at night. I want to be patient while we do things like make cookies, and not worry about the mess. But most of all, I want to focus on telling them about Jesus, and how He came as a baby so that He could save us all.


Anyway, please don't stop checking my blog :) I will do my best to post more frequently, even if it's just short popping in here and there, until the New Year. I'm trying to save my sanity :)



PS We found out today that my sister is going to have a baby girl! I am so excited that she is going to get to find out about the fun of raising a boy and a girl! I am going to have to buy my neice her first disney princess!

Weekend Getaway

I apologize that I have been MIA since last week. But today you get a two-for-one :) This weekend, Bill and I went for a much needed getaway. My aunt and uncle let us use their room at a lodge up north. It was wonderful! We dropped the kids off at my parents for their first overnight away from us. I was a little sad and guilty, but it was just one night, so I knew they'd survive.

The lodge was huge. We spent a long time just walking around. The room had a beautiful view. It totally felt like a secluded getaway. While the point was partly to be just the two of us for the weekend, we of course ended up doing some Christmas shopping for our munchkins. We went to The Wal-Mart. It was a kind of town where you don't call it Wal-Mart, but The Wal-Mart. Then we went to Chili's for dinner because we are so adventerous and love to try new things--oh wait, that's not us. Anyway, I did step out of my Chili's box and had Big Mouth Bites (Lesley--after seeing you have them, I can now understand why--they are little/big bites of heaven). :)

Anyway, before this post gets too boring, the best part of the weekend was sleeping in and completely through the night together! But, there was nothing better than going to pick up our kids and getting big hugs and kisses. I love them so much!

Check out that view!

The room even had an upstairs! How cool is that?!

Happy Anniversary

So yesterday was kind of a big day. It was Bill and my 7.5 year anniversary! Just kidding, that wasn't the big deal (but it's true). It was my parents 36th wedding anniversary!! How incredible is that, in this day and age?! What's even crazier is that my mom was barely 19 years old when she got married. When 19 year olds get married now, it's pretty much guaranteed failure. My parents have one of those marriages that, should they get divorced, it would pretty much kill my faith in marriage. They are meant for each other. They are still so in love after all these years. I hope that Bill and I will still be like that in 28.5 years :) Congratulations Mom and Dad!

Thankfulness

I know that I'm a little over a week late talking about thankfulness, but I have been writing this post in my head for a while and just didn't have the time to devote to it that I really wanted. I am obviously thankful for all the wonderful people and blessings that the Lord has given to me, but I know that the Lord calls us to be thankful in all things. I have been trying to figure out how I can be thankful for the Lord bringing our baby girl home before we could raise her. The Bible verse that I clung too, in an odd way, was James 1:2 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials." My personal translation to that verse was, "Consider it all joy, when crap happens..." I clung to it, because it meant to me that God was going to work good through our loss. Somehow. He promises that "...in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and have been called according to his purposes." Romans 8:28. I have been searching for almost 5 years for reasons that I can be thankful, have joy, or see God's good work. Recently, I won a book (you may have seen an earlier post) by Lynnette Kraft. She has buried 3 children and has an incredible strength and love for the Lord. A passage in her book really hit me. It is definitely how I feel. I hope it's ok to quote it (I don't know what the etiquette is, so I apologize if I shouldn't do this).

She said, "My heart will never be the same. You've imprinted a love for Anna Gabrielle there and that lonely spot won't be satisfied until the day I hold her again. That's okay though, because as a result of that lonely spot, I've gained compassion for others and a strong desire to be in your holy presence here on earth and especially in heaven....I praise you for taking three of my children to be with you because a part of me has gone with them. I find myself holding much more loosely to this earthly place and the things in it. I can truly say I'm thankful for my sorrow because I've gained so much."

I feel very similar to Lynette. I don't know that I can yet say that I am 100% thankful for my sorrow, but I can say that losing Faith has made me want to serve the Lord more. I cling to the hope that I will see her again. I want my whole family to see her again and praise the same Lord that she has been praising for almost 5 years now. And what that means to me is that I need to raise my children to love Him. I don't care if they are the smartest or the prettiest or the fastest or the wealthiest. I care that they love the Lord with their heart and soul and mind. So that when we leave this world, we will all still be together. When I get to Heaven, I can't wait to say to my King, "Where is she Lord?" I will see her healed perfectly by the Great Physician. So truly, I can count it joy, because of my trials, I have an even stronger burning desire for my family to know and love Jesus. And I look forward to the day that we will be together praising Him for forgiving us and saving us and allowing us to live forever together in His presence.

First Snow

We had our first big snow a couple of days ago, and Rori asked yesterday if we could go out and play in it. I got her all bundled up in her snowpants, boots, coat, hat and mittens--all whilst Liam was wailing for who knows what reason. Unfortunately we don't have snow pants for him, so I put his boots on with his regular pants. He got pretty angry about the boots. I think my kids have a bit of OCD (which they get from their auntie Jenna) where something out of the ordinary annoyes them. Then I wrestled him into his coat and fought him to put on a hat. He does not like hats...Sadly for him, I couldn't find his hat (it was in the car) so he got to wear Rori's old fleece purple polka dot hat :) He wailed the whole time until we stepped outside. He loved the snow. He and Rori ran around in it with Rori periodically laying in it. They had the best time...for about five minutes. Then, I'm guessing, based on the return of the wailing, Liam got snow in his boots since he didn't have snowpants on and it was cold. I carried him in to change his pants and Rori wanted to stay out...until she got snow down her coat and she started to wail. So we took off our snowy clothes and put dry ones on and snuggled on the bed until Papa came home. I'm so bummed that I didn't get a picture of Liam in his sister's hat! Maybe I'll put it on him again sometime when his Papa's not around and snap a picture--because he was just so cute! Anyway, the whole thing felt like something out of "A Christmas Story" when they get the kids all bundled up and then one has to go to the bathroom. Good times...

On a side note, I am starting to find music on blogs kind of annoying. What do you think? I'm contemplating taking mine off. Be honest--I'm not sensitive :)

Things I am not

Over the Thanksgiving holiday, along with being thankful for the many blessing in my life, I have also learned things that I am not.

First, I learned that I am not a Latina. I have absolutely no latin blood in me, zip, zero, zilch. The reason that I learned this is because I decided to borrow my mom's Zumba exercise DVD's. If you're not familiar with Zumba, it's an exercise/dance craze. It is mostly latin dances with some hip hop thrown in. I do not know how to move my hips, and latin dancing is all about moving your hips. Several years of ballet lessons, along with my parents teaching me not to be trampy, gave me a few inhibitions as far as shaking my hips. The DVD was a ton of fun, once I realized that nobody was watching me I just decided to do my best and have fun--and shake what my momma gave me (I'm guessing to an outsider it looked more painful than anything and I think I scared the cats).

Secondly, I learned that I am not a fashionista. On Saturday I decided to brave Target. I wandered through the women's clothing department looking to see if I could find any good bargains. What I found was that I didn't know what half of the clothes were. I wasn't sure if they were tops, dresses, or needed a second shirt under them. A lot of them looked like they came from the '80's. Half of them were see-through, and from the previous lesson, you all know that I am not about to go out with my goodies and bits showing. I did, however, contemplate whether I was hip enough to pull off leggings and a sweater dress. The jury is still out on that one, but I think the rest of the styles are going to have to stay on the rack.

Lastly, I learned that I am not too old to enjoy decorating the Christmas tree. This weekend we put up our tree and Rori was desperate to decorate it. It was a lot of fun--and it was so precious to see her get excited about the Little People nativity set that we have. She remembered who everyone was. I am looking forward to her really beginning to understand the celebration of Jesus' birth. Liam was mostly interested in the ball ornaments. He kept yelling, "ball, ball" and wants to play with them. We're trying to teach him which ornaments he's allowed to touch. We're limiting it to three to try to make it easy for him. Any suggestions you all might have, I'd appreciate :)

Haircuts and sleepovers

This weekend was a big one for "firsts" for Rori Rose. Friday afternoon we drove up to my parents house for her to spend the night at their house for the first time. She was so excited. I on the otherhand was relatively wiped from the week. Rori was excited to have her favorite dinner--pizza, then she wanted to take a bath in Baba Hoo Hoo's bathtub. It was very exciting for her, but she did want to know why Baba Hoo Hoo didn't have any toys for the bath. Rori ended up washing the walls for her and had a good time doing it. When bedtime came, she slept in "the Princess Room" which is the spare bedroom decorated for princesses (I kind of hope they find a different place for Liam to sleep when he spends the night...). I slept on the sofa bed downstairs (as much as I love to cuddle with Rori, sleeping with her is like sleeping with a violent octopus). Unbeknowst to me, she got up and watched some tv with grandma and grandpa before going back to bed. One of the best parts of spending the night there was when she came and woke me up--I think around 6 or 6:30, I sent her to wake up Baba Hoo Hoo, whom I knew would be much happier to get up.

That morning, I took Rori for her first haircut, and met Bill and Liam there for our cuts too. Rori sat so still while Patrice trimmed her hair. I could just tell that she felt so important and was loving it. She was so proud to be big enough for a haircut, because she pointed out to me that Liam was still too little. She is ridiculously smart, because she pointed out that the cape I usually wear would be too big for her. Fortunately, Patrice had one for kids ;)

The end result with Patrice, and of course Liam :)

After haircuts, we went back to my parents house to take our Christmas pictures. Doesn't Rori look lovely in her dress? After the pictures, Rori was so tired that as we were packing up to go home, she fell asleep on grandma's bed. We decided to let her sleep for 30 min or so. Bill and Liam went downstairs to watch Mickey Mouse and they promptly fell asleep. At this point I was ready to just go home by myself for some solitary time, since we had two cars there, but thought better of it. I'm sure Bill wouldn't have appreciated waking up to two kids and me at home relaxing with my feet up :) Although, I think he had been looking forward to us leaving a bit too much. Liam does go to bed around 7 after all, so Bill had the whole Friday evening to himself.

All in all it was a great weekend. Rori loved it, and cried when we had to go home. She wanted to sleep at Baba Hoo Hoo's forever. Lucky for her, Bill and I are going out of town next weekend, so she'll get to stay there with her brother--for two nights (at least I'm hoping they will be able to last that long).

Blog Sale

Danielle, the fabulous designer that designed my blog is having a great sale through this Tuesday. You can order a standard blog makeover for $55! That's $25 off the regular price! It's a great deal, and on top of that, she is giving $5 from each makeover to 50,000 shoes in 50 days. That $5 buys two pairs of shoes! So, for all of you that I've encouraged to start a blog--do it now for a great price and feel warm and fuzzy that you did something charitable! I'll have another post later about our great weekend (don't worry mom ;) )but I wanted to get this up before the sale was over.

Random Finds

Today I was going through my Ulta ad and normally I detest the perfume cards. They fall out, they smell and give me a headache, and are generally a nuisance. Today, however, I kept sniffing one and couldn't get enough. It very much reminded me of my Grandma Jane. It smelled so soft and pretty. Then I looked at the label, it was "Juicy Couture." I chuckled, imagining my very dignified grandmother wearing a pink velour jogging suit with "Juicy" on the tush. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that isn't the brand of perfume she wears, but it smells shockingly good.

The other random find may be helpful to you readers with small children. I frequently receive Oriental Trading Company catalogs at my work and they promptly go in to the trash. Tonight, we had small group, and one of the other mom's had a craft for the kids to do. It was super cute and super easy. I went to their website and they have a ton of crafts for little kids for really reasonable prices. It looks really good for the non-creative mom's like myself.

Anyway, sorry for the super dull post, but I am exhausted--I'm pretty sure that there is room for spare change in the bags under my eyes. I haven't caught up on my sleep from when Rori was sick and up all night earlier this week. Thanks for loving me even when I have nothing clever to say :) I will leave you with a picture of our adorable lumber-jacks so that the post isn't a total loss :)

Happy Birthday Mom

I wanted to wish a Happy Birthday to the woman who brought me into the world and raised me to be the woman I am today. Mom, thank you for being such a wonderful mom. You stayed home and raised Jenna and me and never made us feel that you were regretful of that. You have been there for all of my good times and my bad times--whether in person or by phone. You have been at the birth of all of my children, including Faith. Because of how wonderful you were during that difficult time, we decided to name our Rori after you--Victoria. I know that it was difficult to watch everything during that time and not be able to fix it, but you didn't turn away once or leave my side. You are a wonderful grandma to all your grandchildren, and have even embraced Rori's name for you--Baba Hoo Hoo :) You know what's important in life--it's not money or career, it's raising a family to love Jesus above all else.

I love you! Happy Birthday Mom!

ps just because I'm vain, I have to say that the thing in between my eyes in that picture is not some weird growth--it's a stick on jewel that we wore to the princess party :)

My Calling

I went to see this fabulous movie this weekend with my fabulous hubby. I dragged him without any kicking and screaming. Even though this is not one of the things he secretly likes--like the Hills. He would never admit it, but deep down he really enjoys the drama of Spencer and Heidi and LC. Sorry Bill, you need to just embrace it. Anyway, the movie was excellent. The music and dance numbers got me bopping in my seat. I was a little nostalgic for the days when my body would move and bend the way the actors did. I felt a bit like I missed my calling. I should have been a Disney Star...I imagined myself dancing and singing for a living. I think I'd want to play Sharpay. She is the not as nice one (there is truly no "bad" person in a Disney movie). But she gets all the best dance numbers. It looked like so much fun.

Then I got home. Liam climbed in my lap and snuggled me. It was precious--he rarely sits in my lap, unless he's watching Mickey Mouse or VeggieTales. He just sweetly rested his head on my shoulder and started to rub my hair between his fingers. I started to sing, "You are my Sunshine" to him. Then he picked his head up and shook it, "no." I stopped singing and he put his head back on my shoulder. Then I started to sing again, and he shook his head again. I took it as a cue that he just wanted to snuggle :) Later that evening, Rori started playing with her new Barbie that sings songs from Barbie, The Island Princess. A favorite movie in our house. I sang along with Barbie, and pretty quickly Rori put her hand over my mouth. It didn't do a whole lot for my ego, but at least I learned that I didn't miss my calling afterall. I wouldn't change a thing.

My Entry

*****Update*****
I won, I won, I won!!! I never win! I'm so excited and can't wait to read this book! Thanks so much Lynette! You must all check out her blog. Her strength and faith are amazing--The Lord gives and takes away--and she still says, "Blessed be Your Name."
*****************

A blog that I've been following is giving away a book that I'd love to have. The requirements for the drawing are to post this on my blog:
I‘m joining in a book drawing on Writing Canvas for In Faithfulness, He Afflicted Meby Lynnette Kraft. I’d like to receive this book for because I am awed by Lynette's strength and faith. Join me in this book drawing here.

I have Lynette's button on my blog--Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground. This post most recently brought me to tears. We often forget about the husbands and fathers of babies that are lost. Bill was my rock when we lost Faith, and I know he would have walked through fire to spare me the pain we experienced. I am thankful to have a husband every bit as wonderful as Lynette's.

My Walking Heart

Last week we babysat a little girl that is two years older than Rori. Let's call her Lisa. Rori and Lisa played together quite a bit this summer, and Rori really loves spending time with Lisa. I understand that Lisa was having a rough day because she hadn't seen her mom in two days, so she was relatively crabby. Still, I have learned, as my mom has told me, that having children means that your heart is walking outside of your body.

She ignored Rori and when Rori wanted to play dollhouse with her, Lisa boxed her out. Then Lisa went and laid on the couch and sweet Rori took Lisa's face in her hands and said, "can I lay on the couch too?" Lisa pushed her arms away and said, "Leave me alone!" My heart broke a bit for my baby girl, because she had been looking forward to Lisa's visit and said, "I love Lisa so much!" Then, after dinner Lisa took a bag of cereal that she had brought with her and started to eat it. Rori asked if she could please have some. Lisa said, "no." I told Lisa that if she didn't share she would have to put it away. So, she obliged Rori with one piece and then shoved a handful in her own mouth. After Rori finished her piece, she asked if she could please have another. My heart melted each time she asked, because she asked so sweetly and always said please. She was thrilled when Lisa would give her one. Each time Lisa gave her one, she would shove a handful in her own mouth and I could tell she was trying to finish the bag having to give Rori a minimal amount. The whole evening was so hard to watch, so I complained to my superhero--Bill and he reminded me that Lisa was missing her mom. Then he engaged them in a game of hide and seek until Lisa's dad came to get her. There were still moments of brattiness from her after Bill started playing with them, but it did get better.

I know that my children can be stinkers too, but it is so hard to watch someone your child adores be mean to her. It gets the mama bear in me all riled up. I can handle someone picking on me, but pick on my kids and watch out! One time, I even yelled at a bunch of adolescent boys. Rori was about 20 months old and had adopted two of my old barbies. She brought them with in her stroller when we went for walks. She dropped her favorite one in front of some kids who smiled and said hi. We didn't notice until we turned the corner. When we went back to get it the boys had already be-headed and dismembered her and thrown her in the street. We found all her parts except her head. Well, mama bear in me came out when they told us they had used it as a baseball and weren't sure where it landed. I yelled at them, I may have even sworn--it's all kind of a blur. I think I even seriously considered calling the police--obviously I wasn't in my right mind. Well, I must have been scary, because they tracked down Barbie's head and gave her back to us. I seethed about it for quite a while. Part of me knows they're boys and that's what they do, but they also could have run up to us and given it back because they clearly knew it belonged to Rori.

Anyway, I shudder to think how I'm going to feel once Rori starts school and learns about the "mean girls." I pray that she's not one of them, but I also pray that her sweet spirit doesn't get broken by them either. This parenting stuff is hard.

Princess Party

It's been a busy week, so I'm sorry that I haven't posted in several days. I'll do better this week :)

So, Saturday, my mom, Rori, and me went to a Princess Party at the Community center. Rori dressed in her sleeping beauty dress, my mom wore the dress she wore to my wedding, and I got as dressed up as I could manage. My mom went all out--I'm pretty sure she's a princess at heart. She bought sparkles for us to wear in our hair, and jewel stickers to put on our faces. Rori thought my mom looked so beautiful. (and she did).

Ariel, Snow White, Belle, Cinderella, and Tinkerbell were all there. It was amazing to see Rori in awe of the princesses. She was very serious as they learned their princess dance. She didn't crack a smile. She desperately wanted to dance with Ariel, but she ended up with Belle, so Baba Hoo Hoo, who will do anything for her grandchildren, asked Ariel if she would dance with Rori. The whole time that Rori was dancing with Ariel, she was beaming and in awe. Unfortunately my stupid camera was acting up so I didn't get any pictures of that, but I did get some of her earlier. I can't wait for her to go to Disney and see the awe and wonder of meeting the princesses there.

We made such a great memory there. Even if Rori doesn't remember it, my mom and I will always remember watching her joy and wonderment as she got to meet her favorite princesses. Sometimes I think that the memories we make with our children, really should be more for us. At least in the early years. I don't want to wait until she is at an age that she will remember things before we do exciting things, if that makes sense. Earlier this fall when I took her to the farm, I told Bill that we had a great day. I doubt she will remember it 5 years from now, but I will. I will remember how much fun she had, and the joy at seeing and doing things for the first time. If we took her to the princess party when she was older, I know she would remember it, but I don't think she would have the same sense of awe and wonder at the princesses. She would know that they were just girls dressed up. Anyway, this was my subtle hint that we should go to Disney World before she's too old to find it magical :)

Rori and Ariel

Rori's in the back with Belle

Who knew?

It has been suggested that I submit to my husband about the dog issue. So, this weekend we got a dog. We were told that she was great with kids, other dogs, and they didn't think our cats would be an issue because she lived with a guinea pig. We have come to learn that cats and guinea pigs are not the same. We learned this pretty quickly. When she first saw the cats, she barked and chased them. This was to be expected. But then she got all four paws on our upright piano, lifted our couch with her head, and knocked over a recliner, all trying to get one of the cats. Then the next day, she busted threw the baby gate to the laundry room where a cat was sitting; and chased him into the wall. When I went to pick him up and see if he was okay, he was covered in slobber because the dog had gotten him in her mouth. The dog went back to her foster home. We're pretty sure she wanted to eat the cats.

We have called about a few other dogs, but they either don't get along with kids, cats, or other dogs. (since we have dogs in the family, this is important to us). Seriously, all we want to do is rescue a dog but it's getting ridiculous. Not to mention my darling husband is starting to be wishy washy on picking one. You all know how ridiculously wonderful my hubby is, but frankly he's getting a bit whiny and I'm not sure if he really wants a dog. I am starting to think that he is enjoying this rollercoaster he's putting me on. I think we're just going to let Liam pick one out for us.

What am I going to do with him?

Seriously, if I end up with grey hair, I'm going to blame it on Liam. Last night he was up three times from 11 pm to 2 am. Finally at 2 we decided to give him some ibuprofen in case his teeth were bothering him. Then at 2:30 when he started crying again, Bill and I decided to let him cry for a half hour and see if he would fall asleep. Not even two minutes later we heard a thud. We both flew out of bed and into his room. He was standing on the floor crying. Somehow he hurled himself out of his crib, in his sleepsack (like a sleeping bag with armholes), and landed on the floor. How in the world did he manage to do that?! He's 16 months old, for goodness sake! I'm pretty sure Rori was pretty close to three before she climbed out of her crib. Honestly this kid is something else. He's had at least two blackeyes and stitches on his upper lip and countless bruises. He just amazes me all the time. I think his fearlessness is a good thing, but I just pray that God keeps him safe! Frankly I wish that I could be more like him, and maybe God is teaching me something through Liam. I have always been a 'fraidy cat and have probably missed out on a lot of opportunities by playing it safe. I am so thankful that God put this crazy, ridiculous, funny, loveable ball of energy in my life!

Quick post/announcement

I am pleased to announce that my big sister, Jenna, is expecting her second baby! She's due at the beginning of May! Frankly, I'm very happy and a bit relieved. My ovaries have been crying out to me for usage, which was making my mom's eye twitch (not in a good way) at the thought of watching 3 kids on the day I work. So holding her new baby should assuage the ovaries for a while (or at the very least, seeing her sleep deprived state during the summer will do it)! Congratulations Big Sister!

Oops, I did it again!

You'd think I would have learned my lesson earlier this week, but no. Bill and I were doing things around the house and Liam was sleeping. Rori is usually pretty good at being unsupervised for a little bit. Today, however, she came down the stairs in her high heel princess shoes with a huge grin on her face. You could tell that she felt beautiful and she was hoping that we thought so too.

When I saw her, I immediately worried that she had used my $100 bottle of skin cream that makes me glow the way that I do. Ok, who am I kidding, I thought she used my free bottle of Dove moisturizer that my brother-in-law got from work. But let's pretend that I have a $100 bottle of cream. Anyway, I told her how beautiful she looked and asked her what she had put on her face. She looked at me and said, "butt paste." I just smiled and continued to tell her how pretty she was, but inside I was thinking, "she's pretty smart. I think that models use Preparation H cream to get rid of undereye circles!" Maybe diaper rash cream has the same effect! But I probably won't be trying it tonight. Oh, and don't worry, I'll teach her about how to keep the lipstick from getting on her teeth--other than that she did a great job :)

But, I'm not ready for a dog!

We used to have the most wonderful dog in the world (that's her at the top, Sarge is at the bottom)--and I'm not just biased. Everyone always complimented Leia. One time we had to board her while we went on vacation because my whole family went and we didn't have anyone to watch her. When we went to pick her up, they said that everyone loved her and had even left a note reminding them to tell us how great she was. They didn't tell every dog owner that (I know that for a fact). My mom called her, "the most human dog she'd ever met." Unfortunately she died suddenly when she was only five years old. We were absolutely devastated. That was two years ago. Every once in a while we talk about getting another dog--we've even tried two. That's how my parent's ended up with Sarge, and the other dog we would have kept except she had separation anxiety and I nicknamed her "Pissy Patsy." She went back to her foster home.

Anyway, Bill had mentioned getting a dog and I knew we would be watching Sarge while my parents were in Florida so I suggested seeing how that went. Normally Sarge rolls in poop at least once during his stay or does something to make me glad to not have a dog. Sadly this time he was a perfect gentleman. And the kids just loved having him here. Which sent Bill on the hunt for a dog. I found out today that he went so far as to fill out an application for one and he's currently on the phone with foster of her. I am not a happy camper. I'm not sure that I'm ready to deal with the responsibility of a dog again, but I want Bill to be happy. Is this going to be part of my "love dare"? ARG! Why did I make that vow? Is it to late to rescind?

This is what I get for "me" time

We've had a rough couple of days and nights, Rori has been sick throwing up and has an ear infection. I am really tired and selfishly in need of some "me" time. So, I decided to quickly check my email and let the kids play unsupervised for a minute. This is what I went upstairs to find

Liam had lip gloss all over his head, and his pants were stuffed with play dough. And, I'm pretty sure this chair had a seat on it when I went downstairs.

I asked Rori what happened and this is how she looked

Hmmm....guilty or innocent?

I'm Caleb...minus the porn!

How's that for a title? Bill and I went to see Fireproof tonight and I'm worried that I am more like Caleb (Kirk Cameron's character) than I would like. I find myself being selfish and not working to do things for Bill. I have always thought that Bill and I have had a very healthy marriage, but I have to give most of the credit for that to Bill. I have decided to make a conscious decision to think of what I can do for Bill, before I start grumbling about the things that I want him to do for me.

Today was "Sweetest Day." I have never thought much about "Hallmark holidays" but you know what, everytime that Bill thinks of them, I never think, "that's lame--it's a Hallmark holiday." No, I think, "wow, that was really sweet." Bill bought me and Rori flowers and a DVD that I've been wanting, and I loved it. You know what I got him? Zilch. And sadly, I know that gifts are Bill's love language. He loves to give and receive gifts, and I know it, and yet, I blame my lack of thoughtfulness on the fact that I'm tired, or busy, or it's too hard to take the kids to the store. Yet, Bill went to three stores to get my DVD.

I am so thankful to have such a wonderful man for my husband, and I am going to start working on my own version of the "Love Dare." (If you haven't seen the movie--go see it and you'll know what I'm talking about). I'll keep you posted--not for bragging rights, but so that I have some kind of accountability. Our marriage is very far from danger--RIGHT NOW--but I know that things can creep in and eat away at a marriage, and a lazy attitude can be one of them and I am not about to let that happen.

Beverly Ann

On this National Day of Rememberance for pregnancy and infant loss, I wanted to tell you about someone near and dear to me that lost a baby girl. Her story is similar to mine. She spotted throughout her pregnancy. Then some time after 5 or 6 months her spotting got worse and she had to go to the hospital. She ended up going into labor. Her doctor offered something for the pain, but said it may harm the baby, and if that happens you will blame yourself. So she went through the pain of delivery--knowing that the baby likely wouldn't survive due to the extreme prematurity. She delivered her beautiful baby girl who was alive. The baby lived for a day and a half. Yet, she never got to hold her precious baby. You see, it was 1952, times were different, and that woman is my Grandma Rose. After she delivered, Grandma said, she propped herself up so she could see her baby and she was very pretty. However, they didn't let her hold her. My grandma said that there is not a day that goes by that she doesn't think of her Beverly Ann and wonder what she would be like, where she'd be, and how many children she'd have. I know that while my grandma's arms have been aching to hold her baby girl for 56 years, Beverly Ann has been resting in the arms of Jesus, along with Faith, and all the other babies that spent too little time here on earth.
Grandma, while this is a journey that I never wanted to take, I am honored to travel it with you.

Beverly Ann
June 21, 1952-June 23, 1952

Aging

I've noticed a few things lately. I'm getting older. For example, this morning I debated between style and comfort when picking out my shoes for work. Much to my relief, I did choose style, but five years ago there wouldn't have even been a debate. I'm pretty sure five years from now I'll be showing up in my Birkenstocks--or as Clinton and Stacey call them "Birkenstops".

Last weekend I realized that my childhood home wasn't "home" anymore. Rori and I had a girl's day out up where my parents live. My parents were in Florida, but I had to go up there for a haircut, and brought Rori with me because I knew she'd love to go to the farm up there. After we were done at the farm, I knew we had an hour drive back home and frankly I wasn't interested in using the purple port-a-potty in 80 degree weather. I called my peeps and asked if we could use their house since it was a short distance away, and use their bathroom.

When I let us in, it was really weird because my parents weren't home. It truly felt like I was a guest in their home. I haven't been in their house without them there since I've been married. It was really strange and made me sad. I had lived in that house for 23 years and always thought it would be "home." I guess it's a good thing that my home with Bill and the kids is my new "home" but it really made me nostalgic and feel "grown-up."

On another note, today is the National Day of Rememberance for pregnancy and infant loss. Please say a prayer for those who've lost a child at any age--whether it be at 8 weeks of pregnancy or had to bury an adult child.

New Look

Don't you just love my new blog design?! If any of you that I've been telling to start blogs, ever do, I highly recommend Danielle! She did a great job--above and beyond what I had hoped for! She was totally patient while I picked a design and then she really listened to the things that I liked. She even retouched the photo of Faith's footprints so they look much better. She's very affordable and frequently has sales or donates portions to charity. She's a great designer--can't recommend her enough! Having a beautfiful blog is great motivtion to keeping up with it :) Do it! You know who you are ;)

911, What's your emergency?

For the 23 years that I lived at my parents house, I never called 911, nor did anyone else in my family--to the best of my knowledge, anyway. Well, in the last year and a half, 911 has been called at my house 4 times!

The first time I called 911 was when I witnessed "the ucky man" (aka the creepy cat man that lives a few doors down) yelling and screaming and threatening the lady that lives behind me. I wasn't about to go out there because Liam was a small baby at that point (small meaning age--as he's never been small in size ;) ). So, I decided the best thing to do would be to call 911. They didn't end up coming out because the situation diffused itself by the time I was done talking to the operator.

The second time I called 911 was a time when Rori woke up and she was fairly lethargic. She just didn't seem like herself. All she wanted to do was lay on the couch. Then she started to shake a bit and gagged and some foamy phlegmish stuff came out of her mouth. It was very scary to me because our precious dog, Leia had died from some kind of seizure and that topped with my "awareness of the fragility of life" (see previous post) I freaked out. So, I called 911, and this time they came out. They came with a fire truck and ambulance. I had told the operator that I thought she was fine, but they wanted to check her out anyway. While I was waiting for them, I called Bill and my mom. Bill immediately told me he was coming home. The paramedics came and were super nice. They checked her out for about 15 minutes and she was indeed okay. So, we all went on the couch and snuggled. Then I saw Bill racing up the driveway and flying through the house. And I thought to myself, "oops, I forgot to call him and tell him everything was ok." Yeah, I was a little stressed, and thought somehow he knew. I still feel badly about that. Sorry, babe.

The third time 911 was called, Rori had gotten her leg stuck in the baby gate. My mom was watching the kids and Rori had somehow slipped and gotten her leg stuck in the gate, which was metal. She was getting hysterical, which made Liam hysterical. My mom couldn't get her leg out and thought it might be bleeding so she called 911. She got her leg out before they came, but again, they were very nice and checked her out.

The fourth time was yesterday. Rori and I were out at the farm we had gone to the previous weekend and Bill was home not feeling well. His mom was watching Liam. She brought him back for his nap and by then Bill was feeling better. After Liam's nap, Bill and Liam were playing. At some point, a police officer showed up at the door. He asked if someone had called 911. Bill said, "no." The officer asked if someone had been playing with the phone--as Bill was holding Liam. Bill realized that Liam had been playing with the phone and must have dialed 911! The officer said they thought that was the case--Liam must have been babbling to the operator, but they had to check it out anyway. Although, frankly, Bill said that Liam hadn't played with the phone for like 15 minutes so it took them a long time to come check it out. What if Liam had been one of those kids that knew to call 911 in emergency, but wasn't able to talk yet? Fortunately everything was alright :)

So, I'm starting to think we are developing a relationship with the 911 people. I wonder if we should add them to our Christmas list?

Awareness

First--I'm sorry that I've been lacksadaisical about my posts lately. I'm actually working on getting my blog redesigned, so I've been thinking about that lately and forgetting to post :) Anyway, lately I've been wondering how losing Faith has changed my personality. One of the biggest things I've noticed is that I am now completely aware of how fragile life is. I think that this can be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing.

I remember the night Bill and I came home from the hospital after losing Faith. Jenna, Ryan, mom, and dad were at our house waiting for us. Everyone, except my dad was planning on spending the night. I don't remember why my dad was planning on going home, but he needed to. The weather was terrible and snowy. As he was getting ready to go, something inside me just freaked out. I was terribly aware of our mortality and realized my dad could get into and accident and DIE. I started to sob and begged him to stay (which he did). And I think that was the beginning of my awareness that bad things can and do happen.

Most of my life I went through hearing about bad things happening--but they always happened to other people. When we told my mother-in-law that we were pregnant and that my parents had bought us a bib and rubber ducky, she said, "Well, I'm not going to buy anything right now, in case something happens." I brushed off her remarks, because I thought, "nothing's going to happen--that stuff doesn't happen to us." Obviously I was wrong.

I think it's a good thing that I am aware of the fragility of life now, because I cherish moments so much more. I make a conscious effort to hold on and remember each good moment as it comes. But this awareness also comes at a price. I know that life can be taken in a second, so my worry is probably worse than it would have been before Faith. For example, yesterday Liam took a two hour nap--which has been highly unusual lately. I had to go check on him after an hour and a half because, even though he is well beyond the age of SIDS, I have heard of SIDS-like things that happen to toddlers. The percentage is teeny tiny, but now I know that I can be in the teeny tiny percentages. It's a scary thing, knowing that you can be in the teeny percentage, where unusual tragedy's can occur. I've realized, somebody has to be the person to make up the percentage, and there's no reason that it won't be me. I just have to trust that God's plan for my life is His good and perfect one. I know that I need to not worry--because the Bible comes right out and says, "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" Easy to say--but not easy to put into practice!

Anyway, on a totally other subject, I wanted to say that I used to hate dinosaurs. I made a big stink out of how much I dislike them and how I was going to have to learn to like them since I was going to have a boy. Well, you know something kind of funny? These are my favorite pajamas of Liam's :)

Bravery

I was told, once, that since I was a worrier, my kids were going to be worriers. Well, I think I have done a good job, so far, of hiding my levels of worry from my kids. They are pretty brave. This weekend we went to a farm by my parents house where they have fun activities for kids. Rori went down this slide with no trepidation whatsoever.

She also rode a pony

Her brother climbed the giant hay stack

So, I'm pretty sure they are much braver than their mother--who worries about everything and didn't ride a roller coaster until she was 16 :)

Noah was also there and he had a ton of fun playing in the sandbox that was filled with corn. He really likes corn--to play in and eat (he had not been feeling well, but did great at the farm and ate corn on the cob like he'd never seen it before) And a big thank you to Grandpa for buying us donuts!

Happy Birthday Bill

Today is my dear hubby's birthday and I want to honor him with 10 reasons why I love him.

1. He loves his birthday as much as any five year old child :)



2. He helps pick up the toys every night.



3. He watches "the hills" with me and rubs my feet during it! He sends me spoiler information that he finds on any of the shows that I watch.



4. I love the fact that he would rather spend time with his family than do anything else in the world.



5. I love that he lets me sleep in and gets up with the kids.



6. He supports me in anything that I want to do. He never tells me no, or says I can't do something.



7. He lets me call him 10 times a day and ask when he's coming home. When he gets home, he immediately gets involved with helping me with the kids--sometimes even completely taking them so I have time to myself.



8. He takes out the garbage every Thursday night--I rarely help.



9. He told me I wasn't fat when I gained 60 lbs during my pregnancies.



10. He is an even better father than I had expected--and I expected a lot. He doesn't shy away from changing diapers, he lets me go out with friends and puts the kids to bed by himself, he grocery shops, cleans, and cooks.

I truly believe that I got the better deal when Bill and I got married. So, happy birthday, my love!

Fairy Godmother

I need a fairy godmother...I'm pretty sure that Cinderella didn't have to clean under these conditions. Behold--my vaccuum cleaner

Frankly, I don't think the picture does it justice as to how incredibly sad it is. It has been mended with duct tape on the hose and on the cord, which is so twisted that the wires have come out. I just got another war wound this weekend. Pretty sad, huh? I'm starting to feel sorry for it and I'm wondering if I should put it out of its misery. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to pass on the cleaning today :)

My fairy godmother did, however send me a cook this weekend! Bill made us beer can chicken on the grill, with a bacon blanket. Sound tasty? It was! I think I'm going to have to keep him!

We also had my parents over and my mom took the kids 1 and 3 year pictures--so we're not quite on time--don't tell! Can you believe those weren't at a professional studio? Great job mom! I just can't believe how big both kids have gotten.